Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Anger Management

  1. #1
    Вредный Армян VIP Ultra Club HayArtsiv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,175
    Thanks
    1,296
    Interesting posts: 738
    Posts signed 1,451 times as interesting
    Groans
    0
    groaned 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    21

    Anger Management

    This is what you should be doing when you have nothing to do:


    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying, "Hello."
    I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
    Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. By mistake, earlier I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.
    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
    I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
    It always cheered me up.
    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
    He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. Then, I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window. ...so, I wrote down his number.
    A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
    "Yes, it is."
    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
    "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
    "What's your name?" I asked.
    "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
    "I'm home every evening after five."
    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
    "Yes?"
    "Don, you're an asshole."
    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
    But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
    "Hello."
    "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
    "Are you still there?" he asked.
    "Yeah," I said.
    "Stop calling me," he screamed.
    "Make me!," I said.
    "Who are you?" he asked.
    "My name is Don Hansen."
    "Yeah? Where do you live?"
    "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start your prayers."
    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
    Then I called Asshole #2.
    "Hello?" he said.
    "Hello, asshole," I said.
    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
    "You'll what?" I said.
    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
    I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
    Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
    I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
    NOW, I feel better.......
    Anger management at it's very best!
    Интуиция - поразительное чутье, подсказывающее женщине, что она права, независимо от того, права она или нет.

  2. 2 Users like this post

    brat_eu (03 Sep 08), User (10 Sep 08)

  3. #2
    Вредный Армян VIP Ultra Club HayArtsiv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,175
    Thanks
    1,296
    Interesting posts: 738
    Posts signed 1,451 times as interesting
    Groans
    0
    groaned 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    21
    Очень полезная, заниматеьная и интересная вещь!!
    Очень долго смеялся..!!
    для тех, кто не знает Английского - Потом переведу и брошу сюда перевод..
    Интуиция - поразительное чутье, подсказывающее женщине, что она права, независимо от того, права она или нет.

  4. One user like this post

    brat_eu (03 Sep 08)

  5. #3
    Ultra VIP VIP Ultra Club Jack Sparrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    3,186
    Thanks
    70
    Interesting posts: 39
    Posts signed 46 times as interesting
    Groans
    0
    groaned 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    21
    Когда дочитала до середины уже догадалась чем все закончится. Но с такими вещами, в настоящей жизни, шутить плохо.))
    That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel, and a hull, and a deck and the sails; That's what the ship needs. But what a ship is...what the Black Pearl really is, is FREEDOM...

    Все мы ангелы с одним крылом и летать можем только обняв друг друга.


  6. One user like this post

    brat_eu (03 Sep 08)

  7. #4
    ... VIP Extra Club Lusine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    1,571
    Thanks
    1,376
    Interesting posts: 359
    Posts signed 844 times as interesting
    Groans
    0
    groaned 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    19

  8. #5
    justice managements VIP Ultra Club
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    germany
    Posts
    14,056
    Blog Entries
    93
    Thanks
    14,044
    Interesting posts: 2,181
    Posts signed 2,751 times as interesting
    Groans
    82
    groaned 40 Times in 21 Posts
    Rep Power
    32

    Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Sparrow View Post
    Когда дочитала до середины уже догадалась чем все закончится. Но с такими вещами, в настоящей жизни, шутить плохо.))

  9. #6
    Persona gratia VIP Club Nafa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    124
    Thanks
    72
    Interesting posts: 28
    Posts signed 65 times as interesting
    Groans
    0
    groaned 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: Anger Management

    typical american humor : -/
    лицо, далёкое от армянской национальности

  10. #7
    Not VIP VIP Extra Club User's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    The End
    Posts
    1,800
    Thanks
    91
    Interesting posts: 307
    Posts signed 452 times as interesting
    Groans
    0
    groaned 11 Times in 6 Posts
    Rep Power
    19

    Re: Anger Management

    he he, feel better
    Хочешь завтрак в постель...спи на кухне.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •